i would like to blog more of what's going on in my life. i still take tons of pictures of jax, but i just don't have time really to blog. i need to though, because some cool things have been happening. jax is potty trained, well sort of. its quite exciting. i need to document this soon before i forget how exactly it happened, because it wasn't as hard as i was expecting.
jax went to the dentist for the first time about a month ago. he didn't love it. but he has very healthy teeth. (and we don't brush much, yeah i'm horrible!) the dentist said he can tell from a kid's teeth if they are juice drinkers or not. and jax is not. juice ruins their teeth apparently. i'm so freaking glad and thankful that this kid is healthy in every single way possible (knock on wood)
i am up and down like a roller coaster. its an emotional time, trying to get pregnant. wow, seriously i never knew how hard this would be. i never expected it to happen to me either. i am wondering if there is a cause behind this infertility stuff because right now i'm sort of stuck in the middle of a very sad and hard situation with my friend. she has babies, but is not ready for them. its crazy ironic. she is single and not at all in the position to have kids yet. i am also communicating with this poor sweet girl who not only can't have kids, but has had 3 miscarriages, a still born, and a reversed adoption. my heart literally aches for her. i think about her all the time. i feel, on a very very very tiny level of what she is going through. i am desperately trying to get my friend out of her horrible situation by fighting for this baby to go to this adoptive couple. the injustice of this world is heartbreaking. is this why i'm battling infertility? to sympathize on a deeper level with this adoptive couple while trying to help my friend make the right choice for this baby? i am just trying to make sense of God, and this universe and the irony of it all. thinking these things, even though most likely its all coincidence , helps me feel better. like maybe there is a purpose behind all of this. am i meant to help these people? or do i need to back off? i feel like i'm the only person my poor friend has right now. her family is not seeming to care much and neither are any of her other friends. i will regret not doing everything i can to help her. its such a hard hard hard situation.
anyway.
i am starting an online photoshop 101 class. i am excited because the amount of tears cried and swear words used due to my lack of knowledge of this dumb program is ridiculous. and unnecessary. there is help. they are called CLASSES. haha silly me. i've been doing this ALL ON MY OWN. the hard way. the long way. the frustrating , wanting to rip my hair out and run far far away way. not anymore. who am i kidding? i need classes. self taught people, you rock. you really do. and if you can do this all on your own, good for you. but i want my life to be easier, so i'm gonna take some classes. and it will be amazing. and my relationship with photoshop will hopefully blossom into a beautiful, loving one. because seriously, the stress of it all has made me want to quit. and quitting is not good.
andrew started the PTA program. let me clarify this. he is not specializing in being part of parent-teacher groups whose purpose is to support their schools, encourage parent involvement, support teachers, and organize family events. (thanks wikipedia)
PTA is a physical therapist assistant.
he was accepted into the program and now working toward his degree! that's exciting news.
and here are some pictures of jax at the splash pad that is soon to be closed for the year. sad. we didn't go enough this year. jax just loves it.
andrew thinks its funny that i'm intentionally trying to get "blurry" pictures. but i'm trying to capture motion! i think it makes it more real! and its something new and interesting to try.
4 comments:
lol, its funny he's able to let the water squirt him in the face. Gunner lets it squirt him on the bum.
I'm so sorry to hear you are tore between so many things and don't know what to do. I think you should just listen to your friend, let her know there are so many families out there that can no longer have babies. I know at our adoption classes for LDS Family Services there are like 15 couples just here is St.George. I also know how many tears those families, including mine, have had over these situations. That really stinks that her family is not being all to great. She is luck to have a friend that cares. Trust me she really needs some one to show care to her during this time. I'm also sorry to hear about everything else going on. If you ever need anything, and I mean anything, you can give us a call. I know we haven't been best of friends but sometimes the person you never thought that could help is exactly what you need. Thats great about the potty training. It is always so great when you don't have to deal with those stinky diapers anymore. Well love the splash pad pics. Always love looking at your blogs.
Jones Family
great post. you covered so much ground!
good luck with everything. i know life doesn't always work out the way we want it to, but in that case, its usually because God has a bigger and better plan than what we can currently see.
hang in there.
Truly, your friend is so so so LUCKY to have you fighting on her side! And I hope you are not going through all this just so you can better sympathize. That would not be just. You have a rare and pure heart of gold! I happen to know that without you, your friend would have NEVER made it to today. She would not have energy to fight or breathe or live. Nothing makes sense, Irony is a BITCH. But you, my love, have no regrets. I hope in the future we can laugh together and these problems of today only will only seem so hard. There is a plan and I hope its great. A quote someone told me today "When God takes something from your grasp, he is not punishing you, but preparing you to receive something better." I loved it. And I love you. So much.
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