Help a girl out.

First,
THANKS everyone for your sweet comments and excitement for me!!!!! yeeeee!!! this makes me pretty happy to know so many people care about us!!

ok
i have a question.

people have some things mixed up for sure. i often hear since i'm pregnant, now is the time i can eat whatever i want. but, since i have done this before, i know this is not true at all.  infact, its quite the opposite. anything i eat, will make me twice as fat as it would if i wasn't pregnant. does that makes sense? its midnight.
i reeeeeally have to watch it.
i know getting fat is inevitable during this process. i know i can't avoid that.
BUT can i NOT get sickly, morbidly HUGE? someone tell me i can do something to control this.
fortunately, so far, i am not as sick this time as i was with jax. but i am finding i can't eat large quantities like i used to without getting nauseous, and i get hungry every couple hours now.

i  am not a skinny girl. i was once, in high school. but even then, i was bigger than most other girls. i love to eat and i love junk and sweets.

tell me, what worked for you during pregnancy to not get OBESE? tell me, can i avoid it this time? with jax, i gained 52 lbs. i'm not really proud of that. lots of it was water, cause i retain it horribly. any advice on that??

i don't wanna be a fatty. except in the belly. my thighs and arms and face don't need to be huge.



thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas!

I hope you have had a wonderful, amazing, fantastic holiday.

Because we have.

We have been so blessed.

To say we had a Christmas miracle sounds a bit cheesy and overrated, but there really are no other words.

(read on to hear my dramatic rendition of the story)

we found out December 9th.

It had been a horrible day.

I got chewed out by a big jerk of a groom that i had shot a wedding for a few weeks before.

by the end of that day , i had had it.

i had to get away, i could not deal with another human face.

i went to the Sweet Tooth Fairy and bought two delish cupcakes.

i then hiked up to Dixie Rock, watched the sunset, and ate in peace.

it was wonderful.

on the way home, i figured i'd drop by the dollar store to get another pregnancy test.

i had already taken one dec 1st and it was negative.

i take a few every month, this month wasn't any different.

a small hope was there, in the back of my mind. i had to hide this hope from andrew, though.

he was tired of me wasting money on these heart breaking tests.

i couldn't stop buying them, though.

and today i was 8 days late.

when i got home, i went straight to the bathroom, hiding the test from andrew.

i peed and waited, expecting to see that one line of cruel disappointment.

Instead, what i saw, kneeling on the bathroom floor that day,

was nothing else but TWO solid purple lines.

TWO LINES.

TWO.

not one, two.

no mistake, either.

they were DARK and happened right away.

they couldn't be confused as "evaporation lines", or a line that i created with my own mind from staring at it for so long.

no, this line was real.

i couldn't breathe.

i rushed to the living room, where andrew was glued to the x-box.

all i said was "dear"

i'm sure i sounded like i was dying or something, because the look on his face was  the look

of pure concern. to earn that look from him when he's playing the x-box isn't easily achieved.

he saw the two lines.

he was confused.

this can't be.

but it was.

it was there.

plain as day, staring at us.

we both couldn't breathe there for awhile.

i almost thought i'd need a paper bag.

we decided that it would only be right to make sure 

that this wasn't fake.

this needed to be real before we allowed to ourselves to get any more excited.

we went to wal-mart and bought a 2nd test.

sure enough, that one was positive too.

we were still confused.

how did this happen?

we knew HOW, but .....HOW?

like, really HOW?

we had done nothing different.

like you wanna know details about that.

but honestly, we didn't.

the bitterness for pregnant people was still there.

the silent and not so silent yearnings for a soft cuddly baby was still there.

the impatience, the wishes, the small hope, the heartache, the anger,

it was all still there.

so why now?

i don't know.

i don't care.

i don't care that august is the LAST month i'd ever ever ever choose a baby to be born. i don't care that its our anniversary, my birthday, and the hottest month of  the year.

ok, i really do care.

but i want this more.

c'mon, i want this bad.

we do.

andrew was/is so excited. i love it!

jax is sort of understanding it.

at first he wanted a "baby stister", until he found out they are girls,

now he wants a brother of course.

i'm convinced its a boy.

andrew thinks maybe if we wish hard enough for a girl, it'll happen.

no. life is not like that.

its a boy.

it just has to be.

boy or girl, its a baby!

and its mine.

its all mine.

it makes me tired and lazy.

moody and mean.

it makes me sick.

and sick.

and so so so sick.

i didn't think it was real, til the barfing began.

wow, i did not miss it.

its one of the worst things ever, throwing up!

anyway.

that doesn't matter.

all that matters is that today is Christmas (Merry Christmas!) and we are going to have a baby!

am i saying that???

yes, i am!

jaxon's face here speaks for us all here at the talbi home.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Also, thank you everyone for your patience with me.
i am obnoxious when i want something i can't have.
thanks for listening to my whining.
and complaining.
and bitterness.
thanks for giving me advice.
and words of encouragement and kindness!

Temple Lights

Its no temple square, but as andrew would say "bless its heart"

it does try. i think it could try a little harder to be honest. c'mon, st. george, you have money. we all know it.

still. it was cool and fun and peaceful and that's about all we ask for.

Great picture, huh?

you can ALMOST tell they have faces.

lets forget i call myself a photographer for a minute, ok?

still don't have the night/lights/getting everything exposed like it should/without a flash thing figured out. i doubt its even possible, geez.

sweet.

Merry Christmas!

May we all remember its true meaning!

(yeah i'm not one to talk, we're going to disneyland AND getting a big screen TV this Christmas)

but really, someday, when i have a house full of teenagers, after the much convincing i'll have to do with andrew (because he LOVES the traditional Christmas), we're gonna have a NO presents Christmas. Instead, the kids will save their money to buy gifts,food and blankets for homeless people, then they will HAND DELIVER them. they will hate me then, but i know it will be their most memorable Christmas ever.

someday, someday.

christmas magic

christmas time is a beautiful, magical time at our house. and the reason why: andrew and i LOVE holidays and being festive. andrew LOVES christmas. he comes alive for this holiday. I love it because he's not one to get too excited or expressive about anything, so i look forward to Christmas!

Here's what its been like around the house....

Christmas Tree Adventure!

 disclaimer: i am very opinionated. ESPECIALLY about Christmas trees. So like it, or hate it, or don't read it. But be warned.

Getting a Christmas Tree, A REAL Christmas tree, is VERY important to me, and is probably my favorite thing about Christmas!

BUT

it has to be an adventure. It HAS to require an hour or more of driving , because the ride is half the fun. Then, we CAN'T get the first or even the second tree we see. We have to search for the perfect tree, or wait til our bodies are numb and frozen before we consider giving up and settling for something less than the best tree on the mountain. I am glad I married a man who shares these same beliefs. SO very glad. But even if I didn't, I 'd make my Dad come down here and find us a tree, because i WILL NOT get a fake one. I MIGHT get one from a tree farm, but only if i can get it flocked. a tree farm is a step up from getting a totally fake one.

So.....we braced the freezing cold and post-blizzard temperatures of Cedar Mountain. One of the prettiest places on Earth, I tell ya. ANY season. At one point, (the point BEFORE we found our perfect Christmas tree. The point BEFORE we knew how deep and serious the snow actually was) we ALL , yes even me with my camera dangling from my neck, immersed ourselves into waist deep snow, and attempted walking in it for about 10 feet until we decided this probably wasn't going to work out.

So then, about ready to give up, because the whole mountain was covered in this deep crazy snow, and EVERY road turning off the main one was blocked with high walls of snow, we started driving back. BUT THEN we found a road that was cleared because it was a road leading to the rangers station. We turned down that, and got out and looked around. Might I add that it was FREEZING. the skies were crisp and clear, everything was still and peaceful. it was beautiful, and even with numb fingers, i tried to capture it.

Jax had a blast! He doesn't get cold. like , for real.

Andrew being the tough guy he is , and i mean TOUGH, had to plow through 20 feet of thigh deep snow to check if the tree we saw could be the ONE. luckily , it was. Luckily, it was absolutely perfect. Luckily, i got to stand on the road and watch andrew do all of this.

Meanwhile...jax and i were doing this....

i hope this inspired you to be part of the 2% that goes and cuts down a real christmas tree!!!

SERIOUSLY, DO IT!!

its the BEST.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!