I just realized that I have NO IDEA how to parent. Up until now, it's been easy and basic. Feed, change diapers, naptime, bathtime, playtime....
BUT NOW
Every single one of those things listed above has become a challenge. Torture. Jaxon fights me on every little single thing I try to do. He's becoming out of control, and YES a big big huge BRAT!
AND
I have no idea what to do. I've spanked his butt a few times because I was SOOOOO mad. I know a few things. Like never let the kid think they are in control, because once that happens you can kiss any form of respect , discipline and authority goodbye! If he sees that I lose my temper when he loses his temper, he knows he gained control. I can't lose my temper anymore! Easier said than done! He freaks out at me about EVERYTHING! And I am sooooo not ready to cater and baby his every tantrum. NO WAY! I don't want one of those kind of kids. The kids that stomp their feet, and scream and kick and cry because they know that will get them what they want. NO! I refuse!
I know that Jax is old enough now to know better. I know that. People say, 'oh he's just a baby.' No, he's definitely not just a baby. He's a toddler. And it's my job to teach him how to act like a civilized human being.
I know a lot of Moms read this. Moms that have been through this. Moms that can give me any kind of tips.
WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??
Jaxon is in his crib right now screaming because he was throwing his food all brat-like on the floor. I'm not putting up with that.
Anyone know any good books??
Any good websites??
Please help!
Sincerely,
Inexperienced and Desperate Mother who is at the end of her rope!
8 comments:
Wow. :( Hunter hasn't done that sort of thing...yet! But, I am a Babywise-er. I consult Babywise about everything. I know you can check out their books at Libraries, but here's a blog I also find helpful:
http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/
Good luck!
Letting him sit it out in his crib is a good idea. We started giving our kids timeouts and made them stand in the corner when they were little. You just have to be the bad cop when he acts like that, or like you said, he'll know what he needs to do to get you to cave! Be strong!! :)
OH Alecia. My Jax had a phase (and sometimes still does) that sounds VERY similar! I wish I had some magic recipe, but all I can say is to get ready to listen (and try ignore) to a lot of tantrums, screaming and throwing fits because the best thing is to not give in when it gets that bad. Eventually he will get the idea that you are the boss. I think it is good to compromise with him too. Pick your battles kind of thing. I think I got too rigid at times with what I expected. A definition I read once said that an undisciplined toddler is one that always gets what he wants even if you are dead set against it. Hold your guns girl! Time outs have been effective- especially before they can start understanding reward systems like charts etc. And, lots of positive reinforcement when he is being his adorable self- mommy time, hugs, games etc.
BUt basically it all comes down to being creative and seeing what works with your little man. GOOD LUCK!
Yes, i agree, time out is what i do. I gave Dallin at least 20 time out in one day when he was small. Also, damage control. Take the things away before it becomes a mess or is broken.Lots of patience, breathe...Never hit. He will start hitting too.They follow your example.
XOXO
oh the terrible 2's!! I am sorry you are going through this. Kelton's tantrums didn't last long, but I think it was because he could talk and tell me everything instead of the fits. If he is throwing a fit because he wants something than make sure you say to him I know you want (whatever it is) but you can't because... and give him a reason. This will seem like a waste of time, because he will still throw the fit, but eventually it will teach him to talk it out. We also told Kelton all the time that he was a big boy and needed to use his words instead of crying about it. The good thing is you know there is a problem, and want to fix it. Time outs are great as long as you give him one minute for every year old he is. I watch nanny 911 and use some of what they do. I also have been listening to 97.1 when they have this parenting guy on, he is good. His website is screamfree.com. Make sure you are consistant. As hard as it gets never give in, or he wins and will try you every single time. My nephew throws tantrums like nobodys business, and I used to watch him and he only tried to get away with it for a few days until he learned that it got him no where. Sorry this is so long, my last advise is to not put him in his bed for timeout, because then he will learn that his crib is where he goes when he is in trouble and then bedtime will always be a battle. I hope any of this helps, and I hope you can get him to stop. Good Luck! I hear you on the spanking thing, I to am guilty of that. Its hard though when they make you SO mad- But definatly don't do it because it has taught Kelton that hitting when you are mad is ok. oh and always remember the positive reinforcement!!
I am so sorry. I am not ready for this yet. I better enjoy the baby phase. I hope things go okay. I am not any expert on the whole discipline things yet. I hope it goes okay.
The most important thing to do is remember that you have the "mantle of Motherhood" and as long as you keep calm, the spirit will tell you what to do. Also, its a phase, it WILL pass even though it doesn't feel like it. That said, time out is a good thing to try but I understand that he won't stay there. So, the crib works.We are all here for you if you need a break.Did you get the invite to Michaels b-day party? I left in on your door.Good Luck
Lots of good advice! If it gives you any peace, I remember in college learning that toddlers I think until age 3 think they are the center of the universe! They think that everything revolves around them, so if something doesn't go their way, they freak out! It is totally normal! There is no way to talk them out of this mentality. Their brains have not devoloped a sense of others yet. So, try to remember that when he seems to be doing bratty things, he just really doesn't know better. Try to avert his attention to something else, and if that doesn't work, time-out is good. If you ever start to feel super frustrated, I give myself a time-out in my locked room to steam off. Then they see that it's not bad to feel angry, but it's not good to act on it. Ignoring the bad behavior helps, too. They are looking for some kind of reaction, and if none comes, they give up. Any way, I am not a perfect parent, but those are things that have helped me get through those first years! Good luck and hang in there!
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